The “What Happened” conversation, consisting of “3 stories” (see below), 2. The “Three Conversations.” A key idea in “Difficult Conversations: is that every difficult conversation is really three conversations: 1. The purpose of applying the “Difficult Conversations” methods is to move difficult conversations from being antagonistic or adversarial conversations, in which people are attacking and defending, or trying to achieve goals through power or manipulation, to being learning conversations in which both parties are listening to one another as well as saying what they need to say.Ģ. Shift from a Conflict Conversation to a “Learning Conversation.” Some Key Ideas From “Difficult Conversations:”ġ. I’ve found it useful in my work in individual and couples therapy and organizational consultation and training. The book “Difficult Conversations,” by Douglas Stone, Bruce Patton, and Sheila Heen, of the Harvard Negotiation Project, takes an in-depth look at how difficult conversations can go wrong, and describes a set of concepts, attitudes and skills to support having difficult conversations more effectively and productively. When difficult conversations happen without the necessary attitudes and skills, they can be counterproductive, with people feeling worse, and attitudes, perhaps based on incomplete information, hardened. Such conversations can be useful and even healing.Ĥ. When difficult conversations are necessary, there are attitudes and skills that can help them to go better. The result is that bad consequences happen because no one is dealing with a problem that needs to be dealt with.ģ. Many difficult conversations that should be had are avoided, because the people who need to initiate and manage them don’t know how to. They occur because of a misunderstanding that could have been cleared up through simple inquiry, or because people acted on feelings and assumptions they should have taken time and effort to understand and manage rather than “letting them out the door” prematurely.Ģ.
Many difficult conversations that go badly don’t need to be had at all.
In my work, four impressions have become clear:ġ. Most of the concepts I’ll mention come from “Difficult Conversations.” “Crucial Conversations” looks at the same territory in a somewhat different way, with one very important difference.Ĭommunication fads come and go–there’s a new one every few years in the worlds of human education, therapy, human relations and organizational training-but difficult conversations are here to stay. The books, “Difficult Conversations,” and “Crucial Conversations” describe a number of ideas, attitudes and skills to help.
#CRUCIAL CONVERSATIONS BOOK POWERPOINT HOW TO#
This is an edited summary of my blog post of May 31, 2013, in response to inquiries about how to have difficult conversations more effectively.Ĭommunication fads come and go, but difficult conversations are here to stay, so information that helps us to have them more productively is welcome.
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